Why adults date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on from millennium. Affairs can be burdened with problems, cause misery, and other troubles. In addition you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, finances, age difference, spiritual education, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, married date.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek an extramarital affair. I am conserned mainly though it is only the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us flee the world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody can turn the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You would need to minimize the hazard you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest group, enormous in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your assets are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, frequently the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown distantly, our common interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair